Sunday, October 28, 2007
Discussion Prompt 4
Let’s say that we all agree that certain kinds of “boy talk” and certain kinds of “girl talk” are offensive, even dangerous. Let’s say we all also agree that such talk serves important identity functions. We have a disjunction here. What can we as teachers do to with/about this disjunction?
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5 comments:
I'm not sure if there is much that we can do. [Where are the psychology people when we need them!]
Obviously we would not allow these kinds of offensive talks to exist in our classrooms, but outside the classroom what is there to do?
I am with Tory on this one. I know we can do something about it within the classroom, but once the students go home, it's sort of out of our hands. Unless we get parental involvement and hope for positive role models at home?? Not sure where to go with this one....
I had a student blurt out to the whole class after coming in from recess today that one of my other students was a "sissie." Not sure how you'd spell that one, however this "boy talk" that took place in my classroom was unacceptable and I "nipped in the butt" so to speak, right when it happened. I asked him to meet me in the hallway. This way, the rest of the students know I will not tolerate it in the classroom. I asked him what he meant by it and he told me that the other student was a "wuss" and he was sick of it. I did the best I could to talk him down, make him realize it wasn’t fair, and asked him to put himself in this other boy's shoes. He gave me the answer I wanted, which was that he wouldn't like it if someone called him that in front of the whole class. Some of the boys in the Blair article should have been told to put themselves in the shoes of the person they were making fun of and explain how they would feel. I know this idea of role play, and turning the tables doesn't always work, it just seems like the fastest and easiest way to take care of this type of problem, and to make them realize it's uncalled for. But as Tory mentioned, what do we do about the times we aren't around? Such as on the playground which is where my students came from talking like this.
I think it's key to acknowledge both, in order to move forward. As Kristen mentioned, the boy in her class called another boy a "sissy" (that's how I would spell it, not sure if that is right either!). While I too agree that this is an offensive statement, I am inclined to think that maybe it's offensive because I am a girl? When boys use the word sissy, it in most cases means "girly" -- our society let's us know what's wrong with being a "girly" boy, because it is deemed unacceptable and that boys should be tough and strong. But I can't help but think that with words like "sissy" a female teacher would get upset because here, the boy used basically the term "girl" to offend someone. I'm not sure if this is making sense...
What I guess I'm saying is that maybe it is opportunities like this where we, as male or female teachers, should look at the situations that present themselves in (and often outside) of our classrooms and learning opportunities. It's always easier said than done, but maybe this "sissy" incident might have been a good place to start. Kristen -- I can't say what you did was right or wrong, and I don't have that place to judge. But maybe this was just a boy expressing what he knows about gender and what's acceptable and unacceptable in society. Instead of being a bad thing, maybe it could be turned around to be a learning experience for the whole class, about what they think about gender and WHY. It also helps us as teachers recognize our own opinions and move toward blurring the lines of binary gender.
tina, your comment on how this boy called another boy a "sissy" reminded me of Martino's article. As you mentioned, the term "sissy" follow characterizing someone as girly. In a boy's shoes, this is something that you probably do not want to happen. Just like the name suggested that acting girly was bad for a boy, so were the boys in Martino's article afraid of being called girly or feminine as well. They directly associated it with being gay, which many of the boys expressed outright fear in being labeled so. It was almost as if they had this intense fear of being thought as gay. I feel a lot of this had to do with their own insecurities in the whole situation and how they have learned to associate negative connotations with certain gendered words.
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